Wednesday, 24 February 2016

Who I Am

Hey everyone,

I've had this blog for over a year now. I've kept it anonymous, scared someone would find it. I've gone by the username 'BloggerGirl' and signed off each post with "BloggerGirl xox". I'm tired of that. It's time I told you who I am.

My name is Kirsty. Lover of books, YouTube, music and Pretty Little Liars. Victim of anxiety. Full time fangirl of One Direction, The Hunger Games, Dan and Phil, Evan Edinger and Ian Harding (and lots more). 

I've always been afraid to tell people who I really am on here. To be honest I'm not even sure who I am (yay cliche teenage problems!).

I don't care if people read this and know who I am (unless I'm related to them!). I shouldn't be ashamed of my opinions on life and books and everything in between. I write some serious stuff on here and so I guess I'm just scared of people judging me.

People don't understand me. Especially my family which is why I don't want them reading this. (Don't get me wrong... I love my family but they just wouldn't get it).

I just have a lot of trouble accepting who I am and acceptance is something I look for a lot in the world.

But from now on I'm not going to look for acceptance from behind my 'BloggerGirl' mask. I'm tired of that. It's fake. It's not me. It's a version of me.

Not many people read my blog anyway so the chances of someone I know finding this is really unlikely (*crosses fingers, toes, arms, legs, eyes and everything else that can be crossed*).

I don't want a fake identity anymore. I want to be me whoever 'me' is. I may not like 'me' and maybe you don't either. But that's okay. I've tried to please people my entire life and it drained me. I still do it. I don't know how to stop but I want to try.

I'm not really sure where this post is going so I'm going to sign off now using my real name for the first time ever (much excitement).

*takes deep breath*,
                                                        Kirsty xox

Tuesday, 23 February 2016

Book Review - All The Bright Places

Hey everyone,

Today I am doing a book review on 'All The Bright Places' by Jennifer Niven. 

This is my absolute favourite book ever. I finished it today and it took me about three days to read because it was so hard to put down! It's the most incredible book I've ever read. 

Violet Markey lost her sister in an accident. She sees the world differently than the way she used to. 

Theodore Finch wants to take his own life. They meet on the ledge of a bell tower. Finch saves Violets life. 

They become friends. Eventually that friendship turns to more. 

Finch helps Violet overcome many obstacles and fears but little does Violet know that as her world is growing, Finch's is shrinking.

This book gave me a new perspective on the world. It gives the story in both Violet and Finch's point of views which I love.

It's an amazing story about a boy who wants to be remembered by dying and who wants to escape the negativity of the world and it's about a girl who wants to be happy and understood.

I absolutely adore this book and I recommend it so much. 

Thanks for reading,
                               BloggerGirl xox

Saturday, 20 February 2016

My Faith

Hey everyone,

I wasn't sure I was going to write this post or not. Even typing this now I'm not sure if I'm going to upload this or not. 

This is something I'm scared to talk about. I worry that people will judge me for this but I feel like this is something I need to do. It's part of who I am.

I'm a Christian. Please don't stop reading. When I say I'm a Christian I don't mean a Catholic like most of my friends. I mean I'm a born-again Christian.

Most people don't know what that means so let me explain. We were all born into a world of sin. You don't need to look far for proof of that.

The standard to get into Heaven is perfection. As sinners we can never reach that standard. God knows this which is why before Jesus was born people had to sacrifice animals to pay for their sins.

Then God sent Jesus to die for our sins. Jesus was born into the world like we all were. He lived a perfect, sinless life. When He died on the cross He died for our sins. He was the perfect sacrifice. He was sacrificed for our sins so we wouldn't have to make sacrifices anymore.

The Bible says that if we believe with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our might and confess that Jesus is Lord then we will be saved or born-again.

I asked Jesus into my life and I trust in Him. I'm a Christian and I get scared telling people that because people automatically judge me for it. It's partly something I got bullied for in primary school.

Sometimes I get scared telling people I'm a Christian because people think that being a Christian means I don't have any problems and my life is perfect. If they see me struggling they say "Where's your God? If being a Christian is so good then why are you struggling?"

But God doesn't promise Christians an easy life. That's a huge misconception. I live for God and even though I go through a lot and still have problems, at least I have God to help me through. My life on earth might be hard but at least I know where I'm going when I die.

I don't have to good works to get to Heaven because Jesus did that for me. I don't need to change to receive Gods love because Gods love changes me. Nothing I do can make God love me any less and it's the same for each and every person reading this.

Yes, I struggle. Yes, I deal with a lot of bad things and yes, I do struggle with my relationship with God and let my problems interfere and blind me from the truth sometimes but ultimately I know that God loves me no matter what and I know he'll get me through things in the end. That might mean talking to a counselor or doing something outside of my comfort zone but God knows what's best for me and I trust Him.

You might judge me for this but that's okay because I have the creator of the universe on my side. I know I might seem 'weird' or whatever because it's not very often you see a teenager actively pursuing a life with God anymore but at least I'm guaranteed an eternal life in Heaven and a friend in Jesus. Go ahead and judge me. I know where I stand.

You can email me or leave a message in the comments if you want. I want you all to know that I appreciate each and every one of you who read this and if you ever need anybody to talk to I'm here.

Thanks for reading,
                              BloggerGirl xox

P.s. If any of the few people I told about my blog are reading this... Please don't treat me differently because of this. This is important to me. This is really hard for me to post.

Thursday, 18 February 2016

I'm Sorry

Hey everyone,

I want to apologise. I'm probably the worst blogger ever. I'm going to be real with you all... That's if anyone still reads this anymore. 

I've been through so much lately. Some stuff happened at school and at home and I've just been feeling so sad lately. I want to come up with a good excuse but this is the truth. I got my priorities messed up. Big time.

I had two weeks of exams. I literally didn't study. I lied in bed most days too sad and too unmotivated to do anything but cry or listen to music or watch YouTube. I screwed up. 

I'm going to do my best to blog weekly no matter how messed up my life gets. 

So starting next week I'm going to work really hard on this blog. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't even realise this blog is over a year old.

I wanted to do something special but I missed the date. The one year anniversary of this blog was the 10th of January. Over five weeks ago.

I'm so sorry,
                                  BloggerGirl xox